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Browsing the "Morning Monkey Business" Tag

Chevy Bolt & Hyundai Kona EV Crushing Tesla Model 3 In US Sales — Or Not

October 21st, 2019 | by Zachary Shahan

There are a handful of hilarious and informative pro-Tesla Twitter accounts. Elon Musk's may be the most famous (either his or Earl's), and he's got a pretty good handle on humor (dad humor), but another tweeter who makes me laugh on a routine basis and who I think more people should follow is The Short Shorts Historian (@TeslaHistorian). This history professor is quite adept at picking LOL-funny tweets from yesteryear and bringing them to the harsh neon lights of modern-day Twitter

Tesla Is Producing Unicorns

May 31st, 2019 | by Zachary Shahan

Tesla is producing unicorns. Seriously. That's what TSLAQ logic + TSLA logic, when combined, tell us

New $TSLAQ Theory For Tesla’s Imminent Collapse

February 19th, 2019 | by Zachary Shahan

Long before $TSLAQ was a thing, long before $TSLA was a thing, certain critics were predicting — obsessively — Tesla's flaming death. I'm not sure what has stimulated so much animus over the years, but the grave predictions get more humorous as the years go by

50 Ways To Slow The Electric Vehicle Revolution — A Complete Idiot’s Guide

January 6th, 2019 | by Zachary Shahan

Nearly 2½ years ago, I wrote an article titled “22 Ways To Delay The Electric Car Revolution.” It was hugely popular and led to numerous suggestions for additional methods of delay, so I ended up turning it into a list of 50 "tips" for slowing down the electric car revolution. What has changed since then? Well, read on and see which of these approaches is still relevant

Doctor Checkup: 10 Auto Companies With Largest Market Cap

December 10th, 2018 | by Zachary Shahan

I recently published an article about Tesla passing up Daimler in market cap/valuation. Some readers were disappointed that Toyota was included in the chart and wasn't mentioned. Honda and Nissan weren't included either. So, here's the full list of the 10 top automakers by market cap

Why The Tesla American Success Story Ain’t Gettin’ No Love

October 9th, 2018 | by Zachary Shahan

I've been scratching my head for months — or years — but perhaps no more than this past week. Tesla, one of the great American success stories of the century all time, gets clobbered daily in the media. It happens in the right-wing media, in the left-wing media, and in the center-news-network media. Meanwhile, amidst all of the hooping and hollering about stuff they don't understand, those outlets miss the news that

This Is Failure

October 5th, 2018 | by Zachary Shahan

Some people just can't win. Some companies just can't win. Fate can be harsh. As we all know, this is total failure

Tesla Killers Not Killing Tesla But Tesla Is A Killer Killer

September 23rd, 2018 | by Zachary Shahan

Confused? I had fun with the "Tesla killer" nonsense a couple of weeks ago, and also with a decade of claims that Tesla was about to be dead (aka bankrupt), but a recent tweet or two stimulated yet one more Morning Monkey Business piece on these topics

Tesla Killers, Episode #79

September 5th, 2018 | by Zachary Shahan

You know what they say — "As long as there's been Tesla, there've been Tesla killers."

The Press Got Bored & “Wised Up” — Tesla News 5 Years Ago vs. Today

September 4th, 2018 | by Zachary Shahan

I've been curious lately — how has Tesla coverage in the mainstream media evolved over time? Has Tesla coverage always been batshit crazy? Or is that a relatively new thing? Last week, I wrote about dramatically negative press sentiment about Tesla that was prevalent 10 years ago. The company was sure to die any day, according to smart dudes at The Truth About Cars, the New York Times, and most outlets in between

Twitter Tips For Billionaires

August 30th, 2018 | by Zachary Shahan

It's not going to be popular with some of you, but I have to say, I've never liked Twitter. I see the value in it. I see its pros. But I think it crunches too much information down into one-liners and often takes away from deeper exploration and reflection. The constantly and quickly flowing stream of tweets makes every tweet fleeting. It's a system built on such an excessive and fast information flow that it treats much of that information as useless. Maybe it is useless, but that just makes it more useless

Tesla — Dead For 10 Years

August 29th, 2018 | by Zachary Shahan

10 years ago, now-rabid CNBC didn't know Tesla from your mother. Fox News was busy complaining that Obama encouraged people to keep their tires well inflated. Seeking Alpha? Well, I couldn't find a single Tesla story on Seeking Alpha published in the month of August 2008. But some geniuses on a website called "The Truth About Cars" were onto something. They published episode #17 of their "Tesla Death Watch."

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