5 Reasons Tesla Model X Is Best Car For Zombie Apocalypse
Preppers are gonna prep, and doomsayers are gonna preach about Armageddon. If you’re one of those folks who believes that an SHTF (Shit Hits The Fan) event is right around the corner, you might consider a fully electric SUV like the Tesla Model X as a hedge against impending disaster. Whether it’s a government meltdown, a viral epidemic, and/or zombie apocalypse, here are five reasons the Tesla Model X is the best car to own when civilization breaks down.
#5) It’s Powered by the Sun (or the Wind)
The Tesla Model X features a 100% electric drivetrain and high-capacity lithium-ion battery packs. So even if the electrical grid fails and gas stations shut down, you’ll be able to charge up your Tesla Model X right in your compound from solar panels or wind turbines. Sure, it might take a really large solar panel system to get enough juice for a full 250-mile range charge, but you’ll need that anyway to power the hair dryers for your wives and daughters. Be sure to pick up a few Tesla Powerwalls so you can keep the lights (and the hair dryers) on at night and during those chilly winters.
#4) 5,000 Pounds of Towing Capacity Makes Supply Runs a Breeze
Without an internal combustion engine taking up the whole front of your car, the Model X has plenty of space for Bug-Out-Bags in its spacious frunk (front trunk). But even with the Model X’s overall rated storage capacity of 77 cubic feet, there are times you’re going to need to haul more gear, and that’s where a trailer will come in handy. As the first fully electric SUV with decent towing capacity, the Model X can haul a whole lot of essentials. Whether that’s guns and ammo, cinder blocks to shore up your defenses, or just a shitload of beef jerky, you’ll be glad you can haul around a couple of tons worth of gear and supplies without ripping the seats in your vegan-friendly, luxuriously supple, non-leather interior.
#3) 0–60 in 3.2 Seconds: Outrun the Competition
Face it: in an SHTF scenario, there’s going to be a lot of competition for limited resources. You’re gonna want to get in and out of wherever you’re going quickly. And with the Ludicrous Speed–equipped Model X P90D’s top speed of 155 miles per hour, 713 lb-ft of instant torque, 503 horsepower to the rear motor and 259 horsepower to the front, you’ll be ready to roll. The Model X won’t just leave the walking dead in the dust; it will also outrun those opportunistic scavengers who want what you’ve got. And long-term battery studies on the Roadster and Model S suggest that you’ll still have plenty of range after many years of use and many thousands of miles traveled. So you’ll be able to get around just fine as you wait for society to recover.
#2) Dual-Motor All-Wheel Drive Makes Off-Roading a Breeze
In the post-apocalyptic future, highway maintenance will be one of the first things to fall by the wayside. With fully independent front and rear high-torque electric motors, and user-adjustable air suspension height, the Model X should be able to get around road hazards and sloppy conditions with ease. Just be sure to opt for the base 20-inch wheels and pick up some winter tires and chains if you’re hunkering down in the great white north. Those upgraded 22-inch rims and Z-rated performance tires might work well on the track but they won’t do you much good on those choked up pothole-ridden post-apocalyptic roadways.
#1) Bio-Weapon Defense Mode Keeps Your Cabin Air Fresh and Clean
Even Tesla seems to think that our future may not be so rosy, or at least that situations may arise where the air conditions outside may not be up to snuff. So they’ve built a powerful HEPA air filter into the Model X that can reportedly withstand a military-grade bio-weapon attack. Just be sure to roll up those windows tight, kiddies, and opt for the “Premium Upgrades Package” (required in order to get the HEPA filter). This so-called Bio-Weapon Defense Mode is said to capture all manner of particulate matter and gaseous pollutants in the air, including most bacteria, viruses, pollen, and mold spores. It’s so powerful it actually cleans the air outside the car too (though doing that for your whole bunker may take a while). So while the rest of the world is dropping like flies, you can kick back and relax. You can find out more about Bio-Weapon Defense Mode in Tesla’s blog post.
Price is Irrelevant!
Of course, the Model X is an expensive car ($83,000 for a base model, around $152,000 for a fully loaded P90D), but hey, maybe that’s a bargain considering the $200,000 Ford paid to get one early? And what good will that 401K retirement account be when the banks fail? Just how much is your family’s survival worth to you, anyway?
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You could probably ram thru zombies without the guts clogging up the engine, causing car to break down and you stuck in a horde of zombies
True story! We may need to follow this up with “5 More Reasons…”
A ram 2500 with Cummings could run on biodiesel. Actually the ford model T was a flex fuel vehicle also.
Shhhhh don’t tell them. Although you can’t drive far on a gas guzzling ram. You’re going to need to drive far if you’re making your own fuel and need to escape the “zombies” (stupid people, government, bureaucrats, cops, Kardashians, Survivor watchers etc.)
An ICE running on biodiesel is still an inefficient vehicle and a poor use of resources. You’ll be growing crops for food, not to spend time and energy trying to convert them into biofuel.
Actually the best car would be a wood gas or water powered car since the zombies are so obsessed on zombie apocalypses they are failing to notice the coming economic apocalypse where everyone is going to have to make their own fuel and survive off grid. That’s the zombie apocalypse. Zombies are stupid. Society is becoming more stupid, therefor society is the metaphored zombies in the zombie meme.
I don’t know any cars powered by wood or gas, but as long as the sun keeps shining, an EV with a solar electricity system (with stationary storage) would be a fine way to survive off the grid.
I once saw a wood gas car, thought it was from the Back to the Future set.
Water powered car?
Nice. At risk of spoiling the fun, let me point out that the HEPA filter is mainly useful on the crowded, polluted streets of pre-apocalyptic real life today. In the all-electric future, with or without zombies, air filters won’t be needed. (If zombies can master biological warfare, surely they can manage the much easier chemical variety, against which filters are useless?) For the next couple of decades, HEPA filters could save a lot of lives and prevent a lot of sick children. Regulators should think of making them standard issue.
Indubitably. And if you follow the link in the second to last paragraph to Tesla’s blog post, you’ll see some pretty serious stats about deaths due to poor air quality. Since you can control air quality within a home and within an office building (to a certain extent), the trip in the car is really the missing piece. Being able to improve that to this extent should be extremely helpful in the short term. And in the long term, the more EVs on the road (and the cleaner the grid gets), the better the air quality will be.
But if the SHTF event that occurs is related to a viral or bacterial outbreak, then the bioweapon defense mode in the Model X (and now Model S) will also be helpful.
Lots of dead things smell REALLY bad and are breeding grounds for bacteria and all sorts of other nasty microbes. Going near any (previously) densely populated area will not be fun during a zombie apocalypse. You will want the Model X for that fact alone during travels near such areas.
I think filters are not quite useless against most chemical weapons. I am really, really not an expert, but my understanding is that positive pressure, and a really good activated charcoal filter may help. Maybe. Depending on the agent. It might help if you bubble the intake air through lye, water, and charcoal.
I have said in the past an electric vehicle would be best after an apocalypse. Fuel even if plentiful will go stale of time. Gas will generally be useless in under a year. Diesel might last a long time but once alga finds it the diesel is useless. Solar panels last a lifetime. Even if you had to limit your driving to at night allowing the panel to charging the car during the daytime would still give you better mobility then everyone else that was dependent on Fuel based vehicles.
I agree. If you can make your own biodiesel then that’s also an option, but an EV powered by solar panels is simpler and generally much less messy. And solar doesn’t require any raw materials: just sunshine and solar panels. And although current Teslas don’t have a V2G (vehicle to grid) or V2H (vehicle to home) solution, it would be awesome if the EV itself could be the battery back-up system to provide power at night or during extended poor weather. A fully charged 90 kWh or 100 kWh Tesla could power a typical home for 3 or 4 full days (much longer if you cut back on power usage). And that’s assuming you’re not recharging it with solar panels during the day. Not sure if this adapter would work with a Tesla, but with a CHAdeMo adapter, it might: http://evobsession.com/use-your-electric-car-to-power-your-home-with-honda-power-exporter/