Now It Can Be Told: LEDs Make Trump Look Orange!

A few days ago, the world looked on with amusement as the so-called Trump administration pulled out the big guns to defend incandescent light bulbs. The EPA, headed by former coal lobbyist Andrew Wheeler, suddenly announced it was rolling back another regulation promoted by the hated Barack Obama. This time it involved LED light bulbs.

Here’s the official story. As of January 1, 2020, sales of old fashioned incandescent light bulbs are supposed to end. Going forward, Americans would be expected to buy LED bulbs, which are much more efficient. Hold on, said the EPA. We’re cancelling that regulation.

How much of a difference do LEDs make? According to the Natural Resources Defense Council, if we went back to using incandescent bulbs, it would take 25 large generating plants to power them all. Eliminating them would free up enough electricity to run every household in Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

The administration cast the decision as one that fits neatly into the anti-regulatory blather promoted by the Koch Brothers for the past 50 years. Americans should not be forced to buy LED bulbs if they don’t want to. It’s government overreach! It’s unconstitutional! It’s an insult to the Founding Fathers! And it will bankrupt poor Americans who won’t be able to afford light bulbs any more, forcing their children to do their homework by candle light!

The Truth Will Out

Actually, none of those reasons apply. They are just eyewash designed to befuddle the weak minded and confuse the issue. Donald Trump — the man who brags in public about the size of his penis — let the cat out of the bag at a Republican strategy session in Baltimore last week (the city he referred to as a rat infested, crime ridden, festering shithole city just a short while ago).

During a rambling, nearly incoherent 70-minute diatribe, America’s chief executive came up with this solid gold bit of lunacy, according to the Washington Post: “The lightbulb. People said what’s with the lightbulb? I said here’s the story. And I looked at it, the bulb that we’re being forced to use, number one to me, most importantly, the light’s no good. I always look orange. And so do you. The light is the worst.”

OK, people. There we have it, Straight from the horse’s…..umm…..mouth. The war on LEDs has nothing whatsoever to do with economics or politics and everything to do with the vanity of the putative president who is so insecure he has to surround himself with sycophants and gold lamé draperies. Tired of being called President Cheeto, or the Orange Orangutan, he is blaming LED light bulbs for the fact that his face looks the color of a hunter’s moon on most occasions.

Not so, professional photographers tell the Post. Jocelyn Augustino, a DC-based freelance photographer, says professional photographers know how to adjust the white balance so that it is accurately reflects what is being seen in person. “It’s video or photo 101,” she says.

Tamzin Smith, a portrait photographer in Rockville, Md., points out that Trump’s orange complexion is visible even when he is photographed against white backgrounds. If bulbs were responsible for casting a warm glow, anything white in a photo of the president — including the background, a white shirt, or even his teeth — should also be orange.“ You can see that even when his teeth are white, his skin is orangey-red,” Smith said. “It’s definitely not the lighting.”

Makeup artist Jason Kelly says the president’s skin tone is more likely the result of artificial tanning and an overapplication of bronzer, a type of powder or cream designed to give a tanned look. In other words, the old fool is trying his damnedest to look like a well tanned surfer dude instead of the overweight, jowly septuagenarian he really is.

Everything in this sick man’s life is an illusion. He is an egotistical fraud who would rather America build more power plants and pump more carbon emissions into the atmosphere just so he can continue to trying to fool all the people all the time.

Did Trump order his minions to protect the incandescent light bulb just the way he ordered his Commerce Secretary to threaten NOAA officials with termination for letting the National Weather Service contradict his tweet about Hurricane Doran? You be the judge.