Published on August 30th, 2014 | by Zachary Shahan


You Might Be A Tesla Owner If…

August 30th, 2014 by  

A Tesla Model S owner on one of the Tesla forums recently started a thread with that title above. He then proceeded to end the sentence 17 different ways, before asking others to do the same.


Below are a few of my favorites from the Tesla enthusiasts (with some formatting changed for uniformity and typos corrected), followed by some extra thoughts:

You Might Be A Tesla Owner If…

…You do not know or care what the price of a gallon of gas is.
…You consider the sound of your seatbelt retractor an annoyance.
…You stop for the yellow light to be first in line for the green.
…You tell your passengers in advance when you are going to accelerate.
…You tell [people] who makes [your car] and then they ask who makes it.
…You mostly use your brake pedal at speeds less than 5 mph.
…You keep checking this internet map with red dots, blue dots and traffic cones.
…When you are planning a long trip, your daughter reminds you that there is “this flying device” that can get you there quicker (& it does NOT even remotely seem like a better option).

…You buy a lottery ticket and a Pepsi at a gas station so you don’t feel guilty about using their facilities.

…You make sure you’re somewhat presentable wherever you go since it is highly likely you’ll be answering questions from the curious.

…Your wife tells all your friends that you should work on the sales staff at Tesla.

…When other drivers look at you, you think “they’re undressing my Tesla with their eyes!”
…You go to the Supercharger once in a while just to meet other Tesla owners. And yes, you do end up answering questions and being deputized as an assistant Tesla salesperson on the spot.
…You see a car commercial and you change the channel.
…You see a car dealer commercial and you change the channel faster.
…Your next trip to Europe might be to visit Norway, thanks to Bjorn Nyland and his fine work. Tell me you’re not thinking about it!
…You enjoy watching certain Tesla videos over and over again: My favorites are the modern spaceship commercial and the girl who screams out “OH MY GOD!!! WE’RE GETTING A TESLA!!!”

…You always order your drinks with NO ICE.
…You are constantly showing your friends photos of burning Fords, Chevrolets, Porsches, Subarus, Hondas, Toyotas, Fiats, etc, etc, etc.

…The Tesla sales person leaves potential buyers to you to answer questions.

…You cruise slowly through the Porsche dealer’s lot.

…You attend Tesla conferences and blow off the work ones.
…You consider driving three days one way to where you grew up, to only spend two days at the destination and then drive back.
…You just can’t stop talking about your Model S and EVs.
…You have given over 100 test rides to family, friends, colleagues and relative strangers.

…You’ve been called “A Tesla Evangelist.”
…You don’t understand why everyone just doesn’t understand!

…Whenever someone mentions the price of gas at the water cooler, you are caught off guard and try to determine if it would be wise to make any comment.
…Stopping at a gas station for anything feels about as awkward as Lebron returning to Ohio.

…You check the supercharger map every hour!

…You try to put a rental car in PARK by pushing the windshield wiper button.

…You and your spouse actually wanted the same car.

…Every time you start to say something your daughters say, “Is this about your car?”

…You have weekly household meetings to negotiate who gets to drive the Tesla on which day. AND, you always have a long mileage errand in mind to use as a trump card.

Okay, that was more than a few, but they are just from Page 1, and there are 8 pages. Head on over to check out more responses.

My final/extra thoughts are just:

1) It’s hilarious that Model S owners genuinely try to be the first one at a red light. Of course, it’s a different story with the Model S than any other electric car, but I imagine I’d love being in that spot in a number of lower-priced electric cars as well.

2) It’s hilarious (and crazy) that so many people still haven’t heard of Tesla.

3) The obsession with checking the Supercharger maps made me smile.

4) The response of family members to these Tesla enthusiasts… classic.

It’s a revolution, baby, and it’s just getting started!

Check out our new 93-page EV report, based on over 2,000 surveys collected from EV drivers in 49 of 50 US states, 26 European countries, and 9 Canadian provinces.

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About the Author

is tryin' to help society help itself (and other species) with the power of the typed word. He spends most of his time here on CleanTechnica as its director and chief editor, but he's also the president of Important Media and the director/founder of EV Obsession, Solar Love, and Bikocity. Zach is recognized globally as a solar energy, electric car, and energy storage expert. Zach has long-term investments in TSLA, FSLR, SPWR, SEDG, & ABB — after years of covering solar and EVs, he simply has a lot of faith in these particular companies and feels like they are good cleantech companies to invest in.

  • virtualvillian

    Pepsi? Too Pedestrian. Lotto? I’m already rich.

  • Most of these definitely apply to my experience as a Volt owner as well 🙂

  • Love this list. Still working on getting my first Tesla, but when I do, it will be proof that miracles do happen!

  • Red Sage

    …the only reason you have a ‘Disqus’ login is to respond to articles involving Tesla Motors.
    …every other car you own is also a Tesla.
    …you just laugh and laugh, every time you see someone driving alone in a Porsche Panamera, in the lane next to you, as you pass them in the HOV lane.
    …you hope very much that Jeff Foxworthy is a Tesla owner.

    • Maxwell Erickson

      @Red Sage, your first answer describes me perfectly…

  • Ronald Brakels

    You might be a Tesla owner if…
    …you know the secret code to turn your car into a spaceship to mars.
    …you wash your car with Koch brother tears.
    …the Manly Man Hummer Club tries to hunt you down, but only for 15 minutes after payday since that’s all the gas they can afford.
    …you can do the Kessel run in 12 parsecs.
    …after the light turns green everything takes on a bluish tinge.
    …you don’t need 1.21 gigawatts to go 88 miles an hour.
    …your car may be powered by Mister Fusion. The one that’s one hundred and fifty million kilometers away.
    …you get to DC using DC.
    …Toyota keeps trying to hide your car behind a big blanket.

    • Maxwell Erickson

      This is the best thing on the Internet. Holy crap yes.

    • Offgridman

      Thanks for the smiles Ronald.

    • GCO

      Yeah, I love saying that my car is powered by fusion. No need for a Tesla for that, any PEV + a dozen or more PV modules will do.

      Sometime I get a “But… Isn’t that dangerous?”
      “Yes, it can be, if you don’t put sunblock…” 🙂

    • Maxwell Erickson

      Also, pretty sure the code is a, b, a, b, up up down down

  • Steve Grinwis

    I try to line up with sports cars in my EV. Lined up with a charger SRT the other day. Driver laughed at me. Stopped laughing when I beat him through the intersection… 🙂

    • anderlan

      O God yes. 2months into my Leaf lease, I *still* launch myself at full power (when safe) at least 50% of the time. I can’t help myself. There’s no reason not to. No one even notices unless they’re watching closely. No one cares, you just silently leave the pack in the dust.

  • Offgridman

    I bet we could get an equally amusing list from those of us anxiously awaiting the Model X or Tesla3. It isn’t quite the oh my gosh eye roll, but there is a certain look that comes to some family members faces when I bring up my latest Tesla factoid.
    And I hope that it is just because they are grade schoolers, but my sons tell me that there are still a couple of their friends that just won’t believe that we get all of our electricity from the sun or wind and that we are getting a car that doesn’t need gasoline. Of course the boys are almost as excited as I for the day when we start driving around on sunshine so might have their friends a little burned out on hearing about it like the aforementioned family.

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