5 Reasons Tesla Model X Is Best Car For Zombie Apocalypse

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Preppers are gonna prep, and doomsayers are gonna preach about Armageddon. If you’re one of those folks who believes that an SHTF (Shit Hits The Fan) event is right around the corner, you might consider a fully electric SUV like the Tesla Model X as a hedge against impending disaster. Whether it’s a government meltdown, a viral epidemic, and/or zombie apocalypse, here are five reasons the Tesla Model X is the best car to own when civilization breaks down.

Tesla Model X - Vets Edition
Several unique features of the Tesla Model X may make it the ideal ride when civilization crumbles. | Picture courtesy of skepple.net

#5) It’s Powered by the Sun (or the Wind)

The Tesla Model X features a 100% electric drivetrain and high-capacity lithium-ion battery packs. So even if the electrical grid fails and gas stations shut down, you’ll be able to charge up your Tesla Model X right in your compound from solar panels or wind turbines. Sure, it might take a really large solar panel system to get enough juice for a full 250-mile range charge, but you’ll need that anyway to power the hair dryers for your wives and daughters. Be sure to pick up a few Tesla Powerwalls  so you can keep the lights (and the hair dryers) on at night and during those chilly winters.

#4) 5,000 Pounds of Towing Capacity Makes Supply Runs a Breeze

Without an internal combustion engine taking up the whole front of your car, the Model X has plenty of space for Bug-Out-Bags in its spacious frunk (front trunk). But even with the Model X’s overall rated storage capacity of 77 cubic feet, there are times you’re going to need to haul more gear, and that’s where a trailer will come in handy. As the first fully electric SUV with decent towing capacity, the Model X can haul a whole lot of essentials. Whether that’s guns and ammo, cinder blocks to shore up your defenses, or just a shitload of beef jerky, you’ll be glad you can haul around a couple of tons worth of gear and supplies without ripping the seats in your vegan-friendly, luxuriously supple, non-leather interior.

Tesla Model X Veteran's Day edition 2016
The Model X falcon-wing doors allow you to load up survivors on rescue missions. | Photo courtesy of Tesla Motors

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#3) 0–60 in 3.2 Seconds: Outrun the Competition

Face it: in an SHTF scenario, there’s going to be a lot of competition for limited resources. You’re gonna want to get in and out of wherever you’re going quickly. And with the Ludicrous Speed–equipped Model X P90D’s top speed of 155 miles per hour, 713 lb-ft of instant torque, 503 horsepower to the rear motor and 259 horsepower to the front, you’ll be ready to roll. The Model X won’t just leave the walking dead in the dust; it will also outrun those opportunistic scavengers who want what you’ve got. And long-term battery studies on the Roadster and Model S suggest that you’ll still have plenty of range after many years of use and many thousands of miles traveled. So you’ll be able to get around just fine as you wait for society to recover.

#2) Dual-Motor All-Wheel Drive Makes Off-Roading a Breeze

In the post-apocalyptic future, highway maintenance will be one of the first things to fall by the wayside. With fully independent front and rear high-torque electric motors, and user-adjustable air suspension height, the Model X should be able to get around road hazards and sloppy conditions with ease. Just be sure to opt for the base 20-inch wheels and pick up some winter tires and chains if you’re hunkering down in the great white north. Those upgraded 22-inch rims and Z-rated performance tires might work well on the track but they won’t do you much good on those choked up pothole-ridden post-apocalyptic roadways.

#1) Bio-Weapon Defense Mode Keeps Your Cabin Air Fresh and Clean

Even Tesla seems to think that our future may not be so rosy, or at least that situations may arise where the air conditions outside may not be up to snuff. So they’ve built a powerful HEPA air filter into the Model X that can reportedly withstand a military-grade bio-weapon attack. Just be sure to roll up those windows tight, kiddies, and opt for the “Premium Upgrades Package” (required in order to get the HEPA filter). This so-called Bio-Weapon Defense Mode is said to capture all manner of particulate matter and gaseous pollutants in the air, including most bacteria, viruses, pollen, and mold spores. It’s so powerful it actually cleans the air outside the car too (though doing that for your whole bunker may take a while). So while the rest of the world is dropping like flies, you can kick back and relax. You can find out more about Bio-Weapon Defense Mode in Tesla’s blog post.

Tesla Model X in a Toxic Bubble
Tesla put their Bio-Weapon Defense Mode to the test by sealing the Model X inside a toxic bubble with real people inside (spoiler alert: they lived) | Photo courtesy of Tesla Motors

Price is Irrelevant!

Of course, the Model X is an expensive car ($83,000 for a base model, around $152,000 for a fully loaded P90D), but hey, maybe that’s a bargain considering the $200,000 Ford paid to get one early? And what good will that 401K retirement account be when the banks fail? Just how much is your family’s survival worth to you, anyway?

 

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Chris Boylan

is an EV and alternative fuel enthusiast who has been writing about technology since 2003.

Chris Boylan has 68 posts and counting. See all posts by Chris Boylan